 |
Just Say NO
The Sermon
by Edgar Guest
I'd rather see a sermon, than hear one any day.
I'd rather you walk with me, than merely show the way.
For the lessons you deliver, may be very wise and true,
But I think I'll get my lessons, by observing what you do.
I might misunderstand all this high advice you give,
But I won't misunderstand how you act and how you live.
Do as I say AND as I do
If what Edgar Guest says is true, then coaching by example is the best lesson I can give you.
Today is August 1st and I have just returned from my first annual month-long sabbatical. More than a year in the planning, it took that long to both convince myself it could be done and then set about making it happen. The hardest part? Learning how to say no!
Life is a balancing act
Research shows that 62 percent of American "high earners" work more than 50 hours a week, 35 percent more than 60 hours and 10 percent more than 80 hours. Even those that love what they do and believe they are thriving in the world of work, admit that other parts of their lives have been damaged by their relentless focus on work or their inability to say no when saying no is the right thing to do. Attorneys, CPAs, consultants (and coaches!) are often those that suffer most.
The danger of becoming hollow*
In a recent article in Motto Magazine, “The Battle for Sanity”, Darryl Conner, founder and CEO of Conner Partners consultancy says, “Just think of those times you’ve said: ‘Of course I’ll miss my daughter’s graduation to get this report you asked for five minutes ago—and I’ll do that without you ever knowing you caused that.’ After years of that kind of behavior, individuals go “comatose” he says. “They turn off . . . or they become hollow . . .” with personal lives that are just what’s left over. If this sounds like you, it is still possible to return to a more balanced way of life. I know. And while it is still something I struggle with, the rewards for saying no are so satisfying and reenergizing that I am encouraged to keep going.
The art of saying no*
Learning to say no (and mean it) is one of the hardest lessons any of us will learn. Being prepared to say no is a big part of getting good at it. Here are a few phrases Conner suggests to quickly and consistently get you to no.
"I have a previous commitment that won't permit me to take this assignment."
"Maybe at a later time."
"I can't take this on without reprioritizing other things that are out of my control."
"Can we renegotiate the deadline?"
"It is not my decision to accept or decline your request."
"I don't have the bandwidth left (available) to provide you with a quality result."
For more on balance
Motto Magazine is an excellent resource for information on bringing your life into balance. Click the link to learn more about my friends, co-founder Anita Sharpe, (a WSJ veteran and Pulitzer Prize winner) and CEO Sue McLaughlin's (an award winning financial journalist and former senior executive with AGL, Kodak and BellSouth) vision for creating purpose, passion and profit in the workplace.
|
|
